More Bessel van der Kolk on Safety…
“… mind, body, and brain need to be convinced that it is safe to let go. That happens only when you feel safe at a visceral level …”
Safety Is No. 1… No Safety = No Progress
I asked if his wife feels safe and what he is doing to cultivate safety for her …
He stammered and didn’t give a clear answer.
Betrayed Partners: Have You Heard the "Filing Cabinet" Metaphor?
Suddenly, you cannot simply look up a memory or a truth. Everything is contaminated.
Accepting Consequences Frees the Unfaithful to Change
Where they need to, and can go next. Accepting your pain.
My Picker's Broken: Betrayal. Staying with Him, Starting Over, or Going It Alone?
Compulsive users are expert liars, and you need to be an expert lie and liar detector.
Repair After Infidelity Requires You to Be Present
Part of her disbelief in all this is that you convinced her you were “here for her”. Evidence shows you were not.
Being OK with Not Being OK, Bluffing and Marriage Vows
Have you heard your husband’s low opinion of himself? He can move out of it and become your anchor.
Communication After Discovery: Unlocking His Protective Behaviors
When you are not understanding each other, you might be wondering if he really is an alien.
Secure Attachment vs. Insecure Attachment: It Is Only… Everything
It is absolutely essential to understand the attachment dynamics of the individuals in a relationship.
Struggling with the Partner Acting Like the Victim
You are the one who has been betrayed, hurt, shat on … yet he is making it all about him.