2 Books I Can’t Let Go Of. Men, If You Are Not Reading…
Before I get into the books, I feel the need to say one thing.
Guys, if you blew up your marriage and you are not putting 100% effort into fixing your shit and cleaning up the mess, I wish you luck. Lots of it.
Your betrayed partner wants, NEEDS to feel special. No. 1 on the list (after God etc. if you/she is devout) is her, her healing, the relationship and your recovery. Yes, all number one. Your effort correlates with her feeling special and chosen.
Back to the books.
These books complement each other. It probably helps, but is not necessary, to read them in order.
1. The Betrayal Bind – How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by Michelle Mays
Get the second, updated edition; the audiobook is now recorded in her voice. I heard the 1st edition (not her voice) and will be purchasing the new one since I didn’t realize it had been updated until writing this.
It clearly explains the process and helps betrayed partners understand what they are going through. It is an excellent prompt to talk about the pain of infidelity.
To the Unfaithful: This is a must-read/listen. Betrayed partners strongly identify with it as the author puts words to how they feel and think. You need to hear and feel it, sit with it and understand it. You need to know what is going on inside their heads so you can attend to it (as well as attend to your own shit).
2. Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden (Audiobook read by the author)
A perfect complement to The Betrayal Bind. It is a real-life story of infidelity:
“With no warning or explanation, her husband of twenty years announced that he was leaving her. Overnight, her caring, steady partner became a man she hardly recognized.”
I’m sure many betrayed partners will empathize. When men have either been discovered in an affair, or are not present due to pornography use, they are like different people.
“Burden revisits her marriage, searching for clues that her husband was not who she always thought he was.”
“…thought-provoking read, with deeply moving and heartfelt storytelling that captures the emotional journey of a family destroyed.”
“…capturing the raw truth of events and feelings.”
Men, if you want a chance at cleaning up the mess your infidelity has caused, you need to understand what your partner is going through.
Get out of the bubble of your troubles (take them elsewhere… to me, to other safe guys, to a therapist) and get into the role, YOUR role, of caring, loving partner. This is what you signed up for, isn’t it?
👉 Book a Call with David Today
Related Reading & Next Steps:
- The 3 Pillars Relationship Recovery Roadmap — A framework for relationship healing.
- Terrence Real’s Audiobook “US” is a Must Listen — Why shifting from toxic shame to relational action is essential.
- I’m Frustrated: The Raw Truth About Betrayal, Maturity, and What Comes Next — My unfiltered message on stopping defensiveness.