Terrence Real’s Audiobook “Us” is a Must Listen.
Full Title: Us: Reconnect with Your Partner and Build a Loving and Lasting Relationship
Wow. He has that “extra” that few have. It is read by the author. It’s his choice of words, his tone, his compassion and empathy, his cadence, his firmness where firmness is required and softness where softness is required. It’s his insights.
He absolutely “gets it.”
Men: You need to hear this book.
Women: You need to hear this book.
It’s a tad over $17 on Amazon and has a 4.6 Star Rating. It’s just over 10 hours long. It has snippets of case examples that are very relatable and references to other resources.
What sparked me to write this post?
This:
“Like a lot of people in general and men in particular, Bruce deflated. When a client shifts from shamelessness to toxic shame, they move from one form of self-preoccupation to another. You’re still preoccupied with yourself…
… You need to shift your attention to the person you hurt. It’s not about you one way or another.”
And:
“A boy’s question to the world is: ‘What do you have for me?’ A man’s question is: ‘What does this moment demand of me?’”
Writing Your Own Template
To get here you might have to go through some pain. An emotional separation from your Family of Origin ... the conditions in which you grew up. Were you prepared well enough for looking after yourself, your partner, your children, your community?
If you weren’t prepared well enough, that’s ok. It’s quite normal. You aren’t the only one. My suggestion would be to find a guide to help you through the “letting go” of “what was” and moving into the “what could be.”
(Yes, I know, some guys don’t know who they are yet. We can talk about that too).
It means you get a green light to write your own template. Move into what brings joy and satisfaction intentionally, and away from what brings remorse and unease … intentionally.
I can be that guide to help you clean up the mess that infidelity and/or addiction causes and find joy and satisfaction for you both.
Without relationship, what do we have?
👉 Book an Appointment with David Today
A note about the book “Us”: The author uses the term “codependent” occasionally. 4x actually, excluding resources. I know this is not acceptable to some readers. Just a heads up. Don’t let it detract from the rest of the book. He says early in the book, “… But as anyone who has worked with issues of so-called codependency knows…” So he is aware of readers' issues with the word as well.
Related Reading & Next Steps:
- The 3 Pillars Relationship Recovery Roadmap — A framework for relationship healing.
- Men: Are You Addicted to Your Own Internal Drama? — How self-preoccupation stops you from fulfilling your role.
- I’m Frustrated: The Raw Truth About Betrayal, Maturity, and What Comes Next — My unfiltered message on stepping up to maturity.