There’s no doubt about it. Pornography use and infidelity only lead to struggle and remorse. They make things worse, not better. They leave a substantial relational rupture to clean up.
That’s not entirely true, because generally, when you face difficulties and overcome them, you've learnt something very important and possibly life changing. It certainly doesn't feel that way when you're in the thick of it however.
Heard recently:
“I don’t hit the Fuck It button (as in give up, give in, or run away). I hit the Fuck That button (as in, why the hell would I do that?)”
The guy who said this has been in recovery for a few years, has had a rough life having gone through a lot, and recently married. He swears a lot (like me) and interestingly, he just keeps turning up. He realizes that turning to porn or infidelity does not help him or his relationship.
The Power of Consistency
Which brings me to another topic mentioned recently … Consistency.
I know that some people get overwhelmed, disinterested, bored, fed up, frustrated, etc., however that only keeps the cycle going. It keeps the door closed to learning and change. That is unless, we take note of that data.
Well, yes ... we can learn that what we are doing isn’t working (great data), and we can also learn: “I need to do something different.”
I intentionally said “do” something different. It’s all about “doing.” I won’t bang on about it ... I’ve said that in other posts.
Choose Real Action
I will advise: Do not hit the "Fuck it" button. There is hope. Hit the "Fuck that" button instead.
Hit the button to make an appointment with me. You can get through this and into a better relationship with yourself and your partner (or attract and keep a partner if you are single). Your future children will not have to live with the same inter-generational challenges that you did.
👉 Book a Call with David Today
Recommended Reading & Next Steps:
- Accepting Consequences Frees the Unfaithful to Change — Surrendering the urge to run and facing the pressure cooker.
- Reading the Book Doesn't Get You Off the Hook — Moving past analysis paralysis into direct, consistent action.
- Methods of Recovery: How Broken Trust Is Actually Rebuilt — The 6-step relational reconstruction blueprint.
- What Do Mind-Altering Drugs, Porn, and Unicorn Blood Have in Common? — Getting off the vicious wheel of addiction and compulsion.