Your partner wants to trust you.
Our trust issues prevent us from seeking help.
Empathy
Our own preoccupation with self-suffering prevents us from feeling empathy for our partners. We can unlock this.
Don’t make the same mistakes I did.
I spent more money than I had to.
I spent more time than I had to.
My delays caused her immense pain.
If you don’t think things can change,
they can.
If you don’t think you can learn new ways,
you can.
If you think you have to do it all by yourself,
you don’t.
If you think it’s all doom and gloom,
it’s not.
Topics to Address:
What got you here.
What gets activated in you when you’re anxious, feel disrespected or hurting.
Breaking the addiction cycle, the ritual, the lead-up, the craving, the intoxication.
How to get and stay solid for the betrayed partner (How not to explode, rage, stonewall, run).
Techniques to reduce reactivity.
How to be with and talk to your partner when they are activated.
What your partner wants and how you can provide it (safety, trust).
Therapeutic Full Disclosure, Impact Letter, Restitution Letter.
Polygraph tests.
Books and podcasts, authors, concepts that make sense and have real practical value. Only what works.
Support groups: what, when, where and why.
Practices: Meditation, journaling, reframing, trauma-sensitive resources.
Money and where to spend it wisely.
Compassion. Compassion for you, your situation, your partner, your kids.
Ask for help. Confidential. No judgement.
Keep updated. Let’s fix this.